You Might Be American If. . .

(My ad for Superbowl Sunday)

I was determined not to write about the Super Bowl, but I can't help it.  It is the ultimate American experience.  If people around the world want to know about Americans, they can do no better than to watch it.  It is THE American game.  I know what baseball fans are going to say, but the World Series isn't gauche enough a spectacle to be the ultimate American expression.  Nope.  Last night was the thing.  If your heartstrings were tugged as Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton crooned "America the Beautiful," if tears rolled up on you as Kelly Clarkson sang "The Star Spangled Banner," and/or if you pulled for an arthritic version of Madonna to make it through halftime without injury. . . you might be American.

Hell, America needs one of those corn pone comedians to do a "You Might Be American If. . ." routine.  Maybe we should start a blog, at least.  It will become very, very big.  Global.  Imagine the input from other cultures.  We could see ourselves as never before.  I just went to create one, but Google keeps all blogs by one person together, and I wouldn't want it linked back to here.  But THIS IS MY IDEA.  I CLAIM IT AND WILL SUE ANYONE WHO TRIES TO STEAL IT FROM ME.  You think that will hold up in court?  I will definitely set up the website as soon as I get to a neutral computer.

The Super Bowl had approximately fifty minutes of advertising.  And this is good if you are an American.  Today at work, you will need to be able to talk about the best and worst ads.  If you missed some of them, you can go to YouTube and see what you missed.  People will stand around Bob or Al or Frank's computer today as he pulls it up to watch again.

"Did you see this one?  Come here, come here. . . hey, you guys, look at this."

"Make it full screen so we can see it."

Nobody will watch the presentation of the Walter Payton Award, but it was necessary, part and parcel of Being American.  There were the Marines, of course, a color guard, and everyone cheered for a moment.  The fairness of the coin toss.  The booming voice of the stadium announcer, a throwback to more conservative times.  And of course, the Game itself.  Injury reports.  Tributes to NFL veterans who can barely walk or talk.  The manhood of playing hurt is an essential part of teaching the kids to "man up."  Drinking and Driving commercials.  Skinny, sexy women.

Nope, the Super Bowl had it all.  It is a tribute to dullness and cliched thinking, but so is Christmas mass.  They exist in Sacred Time where the temporal world becomes timeless, where participants reenter an eternal event, enduring and everlasting.