Donkey Ears

"I've been reading your Key West stuff. Man, everybody has a Key West story or two."

"Do you?"

"I've got a bunch of 'em."

And here is what he told me.

"I was sitting alone one night at the back bar in Sloppy Joe's. I was nursing the last of a beer, not really drinking but sitting and watching and thinking which is what I did most nights in Key West. A pretty blonde sat down to the left of me and said, 'Your glass is empty. Let me buy you a beer.' I'm not making this up. She was hot and I was shy and awkward, but she keeps talking. She asks me if I am from there and do I come there much and stuff like that. Like I said, she was really hot, and I should have been suspicious, but I'm starting to believe that something is wrong with her, that she really might like me. She was from Miami, she said. I asked her what she was doing in town, and she said she was working on a film. Cool. I asked her what she did, and she told me she was a fluff girl. I'm like 'What?' 'cause I didn't know what that was, and she says that she makes sure that the fellows are ready to perform. Now I'm really lost, so she says, 'We make porns.' Crazy, right. But she tells me all about the business and how much money they make, and then she asks me if I want to work. Now I'm flattered, but I am not about to show my shortcomings like that, but still, you know. She tells me I'll get two thousand dollars for a week's work. Now this was in the late seventies, so that was a lot of jack. So I say, 'Oh, hell, you wouldn't want someone like me in your films,' wanting to hear more, probably, but she laughs and says, "Sure, we need all kinds.' Suddenly I could see myself coming on with donkey ears getting mounted by some hulking guys with sailor tattoos. Nope, I said, I'm not into that. And with this, she pretty much excused herself and was gone."

"That's funny," I said. "Is it OK if I put that on my blog?"

"Sure. If you buy me a beer."