Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Encounters
"Bad ju-ju. I'm in trouble again. Too much stress is all I can think. That or the Joker product. I got into two shoving matches tonight, once in the grocery store, once in the parking lot. People in my way. What do they think? My temper has been on a hair trigger of late. I know it and try to stay out of harms way, but you have to go to the grocery store, right? So this group of people are standing in Whole Foods, four of them, blocking the isle. You know how narrow they are to start, but this fucker is leaving no room to get by, so I walk through him. I'm just about gone when he shouts out, "Excuse you." I stop and make the dramatic pause before I turn around, you know? And the whole group is looking at me, but I'm just looking at him, and I say, 'You don't really want to go down this road, do you?' And he turns away real fast like he needs to.
"Later, I'm trying to pull through this parking lot and a car is blocking the way, so I stop. I'm trying to tell what he wants to do, plus I don't feel like backing up since he is just sitting there. So I sit there, getting madder, and I turn out my lights and motion him to see if he is wanting to park. I suspect he doesn't, but what the hell. He keeps sitting there and a lady in another car pulls out, so I pull up and to the side, but it is useless and no one can go anywhere. Then he starts screaming at me, so I jump out and run over to his passenger's window. 'What the fuck are you yelling about, asshole,' I scream back, and he says I'm about to hit his car. It is a Porsche and he is about thirty and sounds like a fraternity guy, so I hate him just for that and I say, 'Fuck you, moron,' 'cause there is about two feet between the car. I can tell the guy is about six inches taller than I am and I get a little nervous about that, but he's dressed too much like an M.B.A. to worry too much about. But I get nervous any more when I get out of a car and there are people watching, so I give him the obligatory 'Fuck you,' and get back into my car and back up like an asshole, and when he gets beside me, he has to make a comment. I can't believe this shit, but he is on the move now and I would have to chase him, which I am known to do, but I just feel tired and yell out, 'You're a fucking pussy and a moron,' and let it go at that. Then I think about how recognizable my piece of shit car is and think he'll see me again before I see him, and I worry about that a little, but fuck him, right? But he'll probably be drunk and with friends and I'll be in a fight with the bunch of them.
"Anyway, that is how it is going lately. I'm wound tight. I have to stay away from people 'til this passes. Right? I mean, what do you think?"
"Yup, you'd better stay away from people," I say. The world isn't like it used to be.
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I'm not one to point the finger of blame, but what do you expect from Whole Foods ;) Effete snobs, to quote Spiro. I'm glad that you gave the gravid pause & I'm glad that he booked.
ReplyDeleteAs for a guy in a Porsche AND a suit dishing out shit? You did good not to pop him!
I'll never forget my 8th grade literature teacher Mr. Flynn (we were in love, well I think we were. He used to give me special books to read). Once I asked for the hall pass to go to the bathroom -- he took the block of wood with the key attached to it - grabbed my hand, looked into my eyes and said "Lisa, be careful. It is a jungle out there."
ReplyDeleteI dunno that's where the last line took me.