Fetishes

One day years ago in the East Village, I saw a fellow with long hair and torn jeans and two dressed-down women in model makeup walk into a coffee shop. Around his neck, he had a Leica M7 with a Leica flash mounted on top. He was handsome, and he was cool. From that moment on, I was desperate to have that Leica. I don't know if I thought that I would be handsome and cool, too, or not, but after that, every time I saw somebody with a Leica M, I was desperate.

But the damned thing was too expensive. I kept trying to buy around it. I tried everything. I watched the movie "Pecker" and bought a Cannonet 17 like the one he used in the movie. It was often described as "the poor man's Leica." That didn't do it, so I bought a series of old rangefinders including my first Leica, the CL.

That didn't do it, either.

I am from a hillbilly family that does not spend money on any luxuries. Growing up, I had enough clothing to go to school four days a week. I had to make a decision which day I would wear something I'd already worn. It wasn't a matter of putting it in the washing machine. We didn't have one. My mother went to the Laundromat once a week. Etc. So there was really only one reason I didn't buy the camera I wanted. Guilt.

I worked through it. I found a demo Leica M7 online for ONLY more than I could afford but less than a brand new one. I bought it. I would still have to get lenses, but once you've committed a cardinal sin, the rest is easy. I sweat through my clothing when I gave the store my credit card number. But the die was cast, the deal done.

The day my Leica arrived, I was having my air conditioning/heating unit cleaned. I was sitting on the couch carefully fondling my new icon when the repairmen came down to give me bad news. My unit was shot. There was no repairing it. I would have to spend xxxxx thousands of dollars to replace it.

I know why this happened. I am not a believer, but I still know why this happened. There are things some people are allowed to do in this universe and others are not. I won't pretend to know why, but it is true.

I am now thousands and thousands of dollars upside down in things, and I don't look any more handsome or any cooler. And the Leica works just like all the other cameras.

So here's the punch line. I'm crazy to get the new NIkon D700. I can't stand it and I am trying to keep from it with all my might, but the damned thing keeps popping into my mind. I won't tell you the price. If you are a photographer, you already know. If not, you don't care. But I swear, this camera is more than a fetish for me. You won't believe the things I'll be able to do with it. It is all I need to be able to. . . . .