Sometimes, it is the smallest thing that sets you back. Or maybe it isn't so small. You can't tell. You are not able to judge. Things have been going well and you have been happy. You know that this cannot last, but what can you do? You have some minor success and think that you will build upon that. There is a bright future waiting out there. That is what you hope. You would not believe what set me back this morning. You'd laugh at the smallness of the thing. It could be a simple oversight, but it might not be. The ego is bruised. I will renew my energy, I tell myself. I will re-commit myself, resurge, reinvent. There will be a quiet seriousness. I will not rely on the approbation of others.
Then I opened Canaperi's blog and saw this.
It should have put things in perspective, right?
I'll tell you the truth. It didn't help. Sometimes it takes only the smallest of slights. . . .
“Human relationships didn’t work anyhow. Only the first two weeks had any zing, then the participants lost their interest. Masks dropped away and real people began to appear: cranks, imbeciles, the demented, the vengeful, sadists, killers. Modern society had created its own kind and they feasted on each other. It was a duel to the death…in a cesspool.”
Charles Bukowski—1978
p.s. i love that the Boy isn't sleeping. look at that look.
ReplyDeleteand i don't believe bukowski. entirely anyway. i think humans are best practicing serial monogamy.
the very smallest thing...so true but it's not knowing if it is really small or if it is actually big that bothers me the most...
ReplyDeleteLisa,
ReplyDeleteWhat???? You kid me.
R,
I'll tell you one day what it was. You'll be surprised.
no. no. i am NOT kidding. nope. i'm not. Topsy. electrocuted by Edison.
ReplyDeleteyes tell me...then maybe I won't feel so silly about some of my little things that send me over the edge.
ReplyDeleteRhonda,
ReplyDeleteI will tell you, but I must wait a little while longer.