God Is Love

When I woke, the sun was up. Vladi had driven through the night.

"Hey, sleeping beauty, I'm hungry and we need gas. I'm pulling over."

I rolled out of the side of the van and began pumping gas. When I'd finished, Vladi idled over to a parking lot beside a low building with glass windows. A few of the people inside were watching me as I crossed the cracked cement lot toward them.

"Where are we?" I asked Vladi at the door.

"North Carolina. I think we're almost to Virginia."

"This place looks creepy. You sure you want to eat here?"

"It's alright."

We sidled into a booth in the back of the little restaurant in the far corner away from the door. A waitress in a worn, cheap uniform with a stained white apron came over to the table.

"Y'all want something?" she asked us. It was more of a challenge than a question.

"I'll have the breakfast special with the biscuit and bacon and grits," Vladi told her.

"Me, too. And orange juice."

Vladi held up two fingers and the waitress headed for the kitchen. I was sitting with my back to the wall, so I could see the room. I watched as people turned and looked over their shoulders at our table. Vladi was facing the wall, so I told him what was happening.

"Fuck 'em," he said. "They are just amazed. They've never seen anyone with all his teeth before."

"I don't think that's it," I said. "They are laughing. Well, not laughing exactly. But they don't look like they're ready to give us any orthodontic medals."

And that is when the first comments began.

"What do you think it is? I don't know whether to kiss it or kill it?"

"OK," I said. "Now they're laughing."

Two waitresses were standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "When I sleep with something, I want to know what it is," one of them said, and all the men began to laugh. I looked at Vladi.

"I wouldn't want to know what she's sleeping with," he said in a low voice. "Can you imagine that?"

"Let's get out of here," I said. "They're not bringing our food. It's already taken way too long."

But just then, the sherif walked in. Some sort of local policeman, anyway, and he seemed to already know what was going on.

"OK. I guess we'll wait for our food," I said.

And we waited through the comments and the dire mirth that intensified rather than dissipated with the sherif's arrival. After half an hour or so, I guess they were running low on jokes, so the waitress brought out our breakfast. It didn't look so good. The eggs and the bacon were half-cooked and cold. I stirred them around on the plate.

"Mmmm," said Vladi. "Just like home."

I smeared some jelly on the biscuit and took a few bites, washing it down with lukewarm water.

"I'm full. How about you?" I asked Vladi.

"Yep. Let's get the check."

As we headed toward the cash register, everyone was staring with big grins.

"Y'all be careful," said the sherif as we were walking out the door.

"Oh, yes sir," Vladi said, reaching over to get two bumper stickers from a rack sitting on the counter.

Back at the van, Vladi kneeled down and peeled the paper backs off the stickers and placed one on the rear silver bumper, then went around to the front and did the same.

"God is Love" proclaimed the one on the rear. "Jesus Saves" said the other.

"OK. You drive. I'm beat."

"Well I'm hungry," I said.

"There are some candy bars in the bag there," he motioned. "Wake me up for lunch."