I have written a big piece of the narrative in which nothing at all happens. It needs to be rewritten, but I haven't the energy now. I am still dragging. I didn't know where I was going with it when I started, didn't know that it was not going anywhere, so I made a narrative out of a lyric. I must go back and take all that out and make it impressionistic, a vague outline of images, of light and color and texture. Since I don't really rewrite, it might not work out. But I know that is what it should be.
But as I say, I am worn from the effort, and the list of things to do is piling up. Last night was nothing but bad dreams and bleak visions of the future. Mine in particular. I keep thinking I must cash out and start over. Get rid of everything, every belonging, every distraction. Lock down my emotions, say little, observe and process.
And walk. Everything is in the walking.
"I keep thinking I must cash out and start over. Get rid of everything, every belonging, every distraction. Lock down my emotions, say little, observe and process."
ReplyDeleteDude, I've had that feeling for months now, just not sure how to act on it:(
ohwell, guess I'll do what I always to, keep on keeping on, or something like that.
anyhow, hope you find your direction or at least a sign:)
D
Everything has to go...it's true!
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I feel better, I am going to begin to get rid of things but the essential. Figuring out what those are is the hardest part.
ReplyDeleteI actually did that once but slowly the unessential things start creeping back in...
ReplyDelete