Uncle Charlie, pt. 2

"When I got downstairs, I helped set the table and get all the food put out so we could eat, and then everyone came and sat down, but Charlie was still upstairs so Aunt Patti called for him saying we were all waiting on him. He came down the stairs all slow and sullen-like and didn't say anything and people moved over to make space for him. Nobody bothered with saying grace in our family except form my cousin Sally who'd lost a baby a few months after it was born, and she made us all hold hands while she said some words. It felt odd and artificial but we did it and she kept it real short so it wasn't anything much to object to. Then everybody started passing food. And suddenly it was like Charlie woke up, and he was passing food too and laughing and picking on the kids good naturedly so as you'd think it was his party. Everybody was eating and having a good time telling stories, but when I would look at Charlie, he'd look back like we knew something the others didn't, like we were special, and it felt like we were looking too long, though I know we weren't. So I tried not looking at him much which seemed odd, too, like I was avoiding him.

"Then Charlie reached for something over the table and caught his arm on somebody's full drink and it spilled so that people were jumping up trying not to get wet and somebody's knee must have caught under the table and all the plates jumped and made a clatter and then there were a couple shouts of surprise. Then my aunt said goddamnit Charlie, be careful, and he looked like he'd been stabbed. He kind of threw his head back a couple of inches real quick and and turned around and walked out the door. He had his mom's keys, I guess, and then we heard the car start up and he was gone.

"We got a bunch of paper towels and sopped up the mess with a lot of here let me get that sort of thing, everyone trying to be helpful and polite as we all thought about Charlie's leaving like that. And when everyone had sat back down, my aunt said Charlie had been having some rough times. Is he smokin' the crack again my mom asked and everyone looked over to my aunt who said she didn't know but she thought so. Charlie had that problem in the past which got him in trouble with the family 'cause they didn't think it was right him living at his mom's and doing drugs and not working. Where's he get the money, my mom asked and everyone started hemming and hawing but then it was told how some things had gone missing and they figured Charlie had taken them to get drugs. Don't leave anything laying about when Charlie comes over, my uncle said and there was a bunch of head shaking around the table. Eventually the conversation turned toward other things and everyone was saying the food was good and Charlie and the incident were just some ghost hanging around the house.

"After dinner, my mom and aunt brought out the pumpkin pie and everyone said just a little piece with whipped cream and then everyone said it was good and people started getting up for seconds. It wasn't long then before people began going to the living room while I helped my mom and aunt clean up which was awful 'cause I was sleepy with the turkey and the hangover from the beer and the pot and all the excitement that Charlie had caused, but I helped anyway and finally we got everything put away. By then there were people scattered all over the house sleepy or sleeping, the t.v. playing some reality show that my uncle liked. And in a while people started saying goodbye and leaving and there were hugs and kisses and people saying that I ought to come over more than once or twice a year and me saying I know, and then everybody was gone except those of us staying at my aunt's house. My uncle had turned the carport into a little apartment and that was where I was sleeping for the night. My mother was staying upstairs in the spare bedroom. And finally I said I was tired and said goodnight and got ready for bed. It was a long day and I don't even remember falling asleep.

"It was real dark when I woke up. Charlie had turned on a little lamp that didn't give off much light and he was saying hello. I sat up and looked at him and he said can I stay here tonight and I said what and he said it again. What the fuck, Charlie, I said but he was already coming toward the bed saying shhh, shhh, and I could tell he was crashing. He'd gone out and got fucked up, that was for sure, and now it was all wearing off and all that was left was the tired, glassy eyes. I didn't know what to do. He sure as hell couldn't stay here or I couldn't one but he slipped off his shoes and crawled right under the covers and fell asleep. I said Charlie and shoved him once or twice but it didn't do any good, so I laid back against the headboard sitting up and looked through the dim yellow light in the room and started thinking and thinking and I must have fallen asleep 'cause when I woke up, Charlie was wrapped all around me. I didn't know what was going on and was kind of snuggling up wiggling into the crevices of Charlie's arms and legs for warmth and comfort and he was doing the same when I realized where I was. Charlie still had his clothes on and the little lamp was still shining feebly so nothing had happened except we had fallen asleep but Charlie was sort of waking up I could tell, not awake but waking, and his nose and mouth were on my neck not doing anything but snuggling and his left hand was resting on my breast. Charlie, I thought. Poor fucking Charlie. I was thinking that and laying there and not really moving but planning to in a minute, but I was still laying there thinking how weird it was, too tired to move, and it felt good laying there for the minute anyway sort of in a trance like a dream where you can't tell if your dreaming or thinking, knowing I was going to get up in a minute, that I had to before somebody else did but still not moving, not yet. Then Charlie shifted his hips a bit, sort of pushing into me, and I could feel he had a big ol' boner, and then the adrenaline or something kind of shot through my body as I felt Charlie kind of moving back and forth minutely, not really but sort of, and I was pretty sure he was still asleep and just moving like a dog does when its dreaming, and that's when I knew it was time to get up so I rolled slowly out from under Charlie's arm and he didn't move, and I rolled on over and out of bed and stood over him. He was asleep alright, dead out, and I just stood looking down at him and thinking about all the trouble a man could have and thought that's just what Charlie had and thought that maybe it was his fault and maybe it wasn't, but he sure wasn't doing anything to help out. He'd just been spoiled too long, I thought, and it made him into a hideously attractive monster like Jeckyll and Hyde. But there was nothing I could do to help him, I knew.

"So I opened the door that connected the little apartment to the house and went to the living room and lay down with the throw pillows and the comforter and tried to go to sleep. It wasn't long, though, before my uncle got up to put on a pot of coffee and have a cigarette and when he saw me on the couch he said what are you doing, and I said Charlie came over last night and I let him sleep in the bed. I hope you didn't leave any of your stuff laying around in there, he said and he went on into the kitchen where I could hear him gently banging around. I would get up in a few minutes and have a cup of coffee with him, I thought, and we would talk about things in low voices not to wake anybody up and we'd say things about Charlie. Then my mother would get up and walk in in her nightgown and in a little while the sun would come up and we'd start thinking about heading home. Charlie would go out the way he'd come in not saying goodbye to anyone and I wouldn't see him again for a year maybe or more if I saw him again at all. And laying there in the dark, I couldn't wait for all that to happen. I couldn't wait to get home. "