"It’s a question a lot of men have – they see themselves as feminist allies, they don’t want to be objectifying or creepy, but they still want to be able to express their sexual attraction to women whom they find appealing and ask them out on dates with a view to an eventual sexual relationship. And so they should – men and women enjoying sex together is a good thing! But I can understand why some of the things one learns as a feminist ally could make one reticent, because of the possibility of putting one’s foot in it and being perceived as one of the bad guys, or even worse: appearing to be one of those predatory faux-feminist men who’s only parroting glib sound-bites in order to get laid.
What I see as the major problem for many men who are relatively recent feminist allies is that of re-educating oneself away from the traditional “what do women want?” view (as if all women want exactly the same things and if some man perfects The Universal Formula it will work on any of us) towards a “how can I appeal to this woman right here and now?” view where you acknowledge that each woman has her own unique set of tastes and preferences and priorities, with which your own attributes may or may not mesh."
from "Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog"
so he will perfect a more specific formula instead of the elusive Universal one...doctors, men, we want them all to be specialists.
ReplyDeleteThese types of blurbs from blogs prove to me why I've always been a failure at the "Game."
ReplyDeleteThere is no "perfection", there is no" failure". It is all discourse and story telling and theory, and all attempts to perform theory are wrought with interpretation and irony. It is why people hate and use Derrida. I think of Becket.
ReplyDeleteRise above, dive below. It is all terrible, it is all fun.
But I won't think so when I get myself into trouble : )