I can't sleep. It is killing me. Literally, I think. I wake up at appalling hours. What to do? I got up this morning thinking to go back to bed after awhile. Never happened. I have things on my mind and I can't get them off. Who the hell cares. But that is the point. That is why we wake at night, I think. Who the hell cares.
The girl in this photo is like most of her generation. She never goes to bed before two a.m. Often later. I should stay up, perhaps, but I have never been a late night person, not even when I was in college. But then we didn't have the internet. I should give it up for awhile and see if I sleep better. Maybe there are all sorts of subliminal things going on. Or maybe it is the residual effects of the Xenon lights.
Whatever it is, though, I wander around in a half trance like a zombie, throat a little raw, body tingling, limbs heavy. Yesterday waiting in a mostly empty hallway for a group to finish a meeting, I fell into the wakeful sleep sitting up on the bench, dreaming and thinking all at the same time. I cannot be functioning well.
But I think this is how an entire generation feels. They stay up late and are sleepy all day. They don't function at 100%. And I think this is what primitive man must have felt like, sleeping in buggy conditions waking to every noise in the night, rising with the sun. They didn't live that long.
Maybe I am worried. Maybe I feel guilty. Maybe it is apnea. I don't know what I need, a pill doctor, a psychiatrist, a priest. . . .
Maybe a light for the night. Maybe that is all that is needed. Or at least, that is all that I'll get.
I stay up late and wake up early...some days are pretty foggy! I catch up on sleep when I can (like during staff meetings) :)
ReplyDeleteOh yes, those are absolutely the best places to sleep. And be obvious about it.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course the old joke: “I hope I die during an in-service because the transition from life to death will be so subtle.”
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