For Lovers Only

(photo by P.G.)

I'm not enamored with the 4th of July weekend.  I don't enjoy fireworks or hot dogs or big crowds, so there is little else for me but endless hours of watching The History Chanel.  Today I read something on The Huffington Post that explained it.  They reported on a Harvard study which demonstrated that people who attend 4th of July celebrations are much more likely to become Republicans.  It is genetic, I'm sure.

O.K.  I do like hot dogs.  I just don't eat them.  It will be hamburgers and watermelon at the big mom and boy cookout.  We're crazy that way.

I will be off the lethal doses of antibiotics in a few days.  Perhaps I'll begin to feel normal again.  At first it was a joke, but yesterday my eyes went completely blurry.  I watched television wearing my reading glasses.  Pretty awful.

I paid for what I watched.  "For Lovers Only."  I don't know if it was a mistake or a charm.  The image that appeared on the screen was about half-size.  Maybe it had been shot in 16mm and had to be reduced, I don't know.  It was a very independent film shot in black and white.  It made little sense at all.  The audio was often inaudible.  It was made by brothers, one of who plays the lead role, the other the cinematographer.  It is just this side of a college film program production.  And yet it had allure.  Perhaps I liked it because it was about a photographer who is impossibly in love.  He carries a Leica in one hand most of the time.  And the film was obviously made by someone who is a b&w photographer himself.  Or maybe it was because it is about a woman who is not like any women in contemporary popular society and who is impossibly in love.  The entire film has a fifties sensibility and appeal, a bit new wave.

Before I watched the film, I got another series of images from the Prodigal Girl in N.Y.C.  Now--envy is not one of my favorite of the Deadly Sins.  I prefer Sloth and Lust.  But Envy and something else besides had wormed its way into my very big heart which is what drove me to the hipster bar the night before.

But P.G. stopped me dead with this.

"i never go out on friday nights. least favorite night of the week. did happy hour (we're talking 2p) because yesterday was a half day & gorgeous. home ready for bed by 7. cool girl!!"

C'est la vie.  I've shown myself to be a fool once again.  Maybe she's learned something somewhere about creating a version of reality, though, to make one pause.  She's become very good at it.

(photo by P.G.)

*     *     *     UPDATE     *     *     *     

I just went to Google to search for this film.  It is based on the New Wave film by LaBlouch, "A Man and A Woman."  

Here is the trailer.

I'm embarrassing myself every day, it seems, since The Disease.  Shame is not a Deadly Sin.