My friend Q has switched from astrology to astronomy. And just as I wrote this, he called to fill me with terror. He will attack me viscously, he says, both my science and my grammar. He is a threatening bully and a brute. He can have science and grammar, I say. I'll stick with the Farmer's Almanac. He can be Monsato Corp. to my Drucker's General Store. The Rolex to my Timex. Etc. Strive for accuracy if you will. My truths are sad and sweet.
Do not doubt, though, the bond between us. We are much alike. Neither of us has a tattoo. And that is a true and grave compact in a world gone mad.
But I can't afford to argue with anyone now. I face nothing but tribulation and ignominy everywhere I turn. I grieve profoundly for the time when my stars were correctly aligned. I grieve for all of you, too, for those were better days all around. But it is, in part, my fault. I never learned the First Rule of the American Playground: "Don't speak unless you're certain everyone agrees."
What is "science" anyway?
They cannot scare me with their empty spaces,(Robert Frost, from "Desert Places")
Between stars--on stars where no human race is.
I have it in me so much nearer home,
To scare myself with my own desert places.
Yes, folksy errors are always sad and sweet, just like in Deliverance.
ReplyDeleteYou call that an apology?
Well, either way, I accept your apology.
I never learned that rule either.
ReplyDeleteObviously.
I read recently there are up to 50 new alien worlds. I think it was in the International Business News -- much potential for new business I guess.
I've been told grammar is for pussies. So. Chin up.
Q, Yes, I remember how much you enjoyed what you referred to as "the love scene."
ReplyDeleteL, No, I'm sure your source for that was Q. If not, check with him to make certain it is accurate. And don't make up with him, either. If you two team up on me, I'll have to close the site.
Nopey. My source is the Poet who always tells me it is okay to break every rule ever invented in the search for art (or Art) which, I know, I know, doesn't exist or something.
ReplyDeleteSee-- I think commas and exclamation points and any punkiacion marks can! and should! be used anywhere! and anytime! - even if the rules say something different. SO I am always wrong and called upon in writerly circles for being an idiot.
I have received THREE copies of that panda book about grammar. Eats, Shoots & Leaves. .. bullshit. No dumb book is going to tell me what to do.
I embrace the "Grammar is for Pussies:you look like an idiot" motto and all the glorious freedom it provides me. I was inviting you to join me. :)
P.S. I thought you'd be pleased with the possibility of peace among the people. Plus, he prolly still hates my guts but the Springsteen/London Calling bond IS something I cannot deny.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqSubuEzUE8
I don't hate anybody.
ReplyDelete