Was I drinking? Was I drunk? Somehow I deleted the entire entry I had written last night. Like the images on a lost roll of film, the lost words of that post were magical, the best I've ever written. I have a vague memory of hitting some button or key too many times, trying to bring it back. . . gone. . . all gone.
I was tempted to go out last night. I remember that. To my buddy's lounge upstairs downtown. All the best people, I'm assured. I had intentions, then it was late. Not late, but later, too late. I'd been hijacking music. You know the devil is in music, more in certain instruments, some songs.
And then I went to bed? When I got up this morning, the computer was still on. Silver foil from an expensive chocolate sat on the table beside it. The cat did not come to me as she usually does, scurrying under my feet wanting to be pet and fed.
All that is left is the title of the post: "Tremble." To what did this refer?
Daylight is still some way off. Q sent me this:
"I don't know about other people, but when I wake up in the morning and put my shoes on, I think, 'Jesus Christ, now what?'" (Bukowski)
"I don't know about other people, but when I wake up in the morning and put my shoes on, I think, 'Jesus Christ, now what?'" (Bukowski)
Sounds a lot like delirium tremens.
ReplyDeleteI mean, like, the stage shortly before delirium tremens...
"-)) XXX
I have a friend whose theory is that people stay alive and keep going because they are wanting to know, "what's next?" He thinks he should write a book about it called 'What's Nextism.' People like that irritate me...I'm more of a 'now what' kind of person! So sad we're going to miss your magical post...maybe it will come back to you in a dream...
ReplyDeleteN, It is the stage preparing for them.
ReplyDeleteR, I dreamed strange dreams last night. It is odd that I remember them as I normally don't. But the post. . . it was not even remotely there.