Commercial-Free

A NASA scientist is linking climate change to human activities on the planet.  Between 1950 and 1980, 0.02 percent of the planet experienced outbreaks of "extreme" temperature.  Now extreme heat covers almost 10% of the planet.

I have to think he is being a bit hasty, though.  He's guessing.  It is just as likely that Bongo Bongo Lord of the Congo is punishing us for pissing him off, isn't it?  I suggest prudence in this matter before we start acting all crazy.  Wait and see, I say.  Who knows?  This whole thing could blow over.  What could go wrong?

But I have become aware of a big difference in people's opinions in this country.  Have you noticed?  The vicious split, I mean.  Maybe I'm out of touch because I don't watch commercial television or listen to commercial radio.  The only commercials I get are when I drive.  I can pretty much block out those huge, monstrous billboards that provide me with important information like Preem Decartha, Orthodontist, is open for business on Friday's in a town not far from mine, or that Cal Worthworth provides car insurance for people with drunk driving convictions.  But I haven't learned how to tune out the giant electric billboards.  They are like a television in a restaurant.  You find yourself looking at them regardless.  I understand the impetus behind the billboards.  Money exchanges hands.  But the television in a restaurant (with the sound turned off) has stymied me.  Until recently.  But now, I think I've got it.

While I was driving through California listening to music, it occurred to me that I'd never heard a commercial-free country station.  I don't think they exist.  If you know better, let me know.  But I've been many places and have never come across one.  Commercial-free people like me, I know, are out of touch with mainstream America.  I hear the names of "famous" people all the time now who I have never heard of.  But man, I believe there is a whole lot of people just loving their commercials.  I'd bet you won't find 0.02% of a NASCAR crowd who don't.  They talk in commercial voices.  They use catchy phrases written by clever Mad Men.  They love a cliche.

So. . . this leads me to a presumption.  Let's get some commercial-free country stations on the air. Let's just see.  Country music is the most popular kind, I've read.  Let's see if we can get 10% of that audience to be commercial-free.  I'm thinking this is a great idea.  It could change everything.  Imagine if 10% of the largest voting block in America began to think differently.  Oh lordy, lordy, lordy.

My own hometown has forever been "tony," a bastion of good taste.  But the commercial bastards and their big commercial money are winning out.  On the very outskirts of town, the electric billboards have gone up.  It is a cancer that won't be stopped without extreme measures, and maybe even that won't help.  And yesterday, I ate lunch at the new "wonder" restaurant on the Boulevard.  It is a hamburger place that people just rave about.  Best burgers. . . ooooo.  And microbrewery beers to boot.  So I went.  People are dipshits.  I couldn't tell the difference between that burger and a Wendy's.  What's important, though, is that now the NASCAR crowd can come litter the place and not spend so much money on food.  Oh, the burgers are expensive, but nothing like the other restaurants there.  I'll bet they put a television in the restaurant soon enough.  I'm waiting to see their advertisement on the big electric billboard on the very edge of town.

O.K.  I've got to go.  We have to get everything done early here.  It is too hot to go outside in the afternoon.