Friday, February 14, 2014

Be Mine, MF



I was duped on the Sports Illustrated cover, it seems.  What did I post?  They unveiled their Swimsuit Edition cover today.


Here they are--See No Evil, Hear None, Speak None.  See the difference?  Mine looks like it was taken with a fifty what lightbulb.  I should take that cover off the post.  It makes my work look shabby, dim and dark and--dare I say it--s-l-e-a-z-y.  See how happy those girls are.  Take a look at this video (link) if you want to see how girls who don't shoot with me act.  They are just a joy.  The models who come to my studio usually speak in normal tones and don't flop around nearly as much.  If I could just get girls to the islands, though, and shoot in the sun, I might make photos like this.  Happy.  Healthy.  Fun.

Today is Valentine's Day, or as they say in my family "Valentymes Day."  You should have gotten a card from me.  If not, let me know.  I sent them to you as I have nobody else.  You are it by default.  I think they make up these sort of special days to increase the suicide rates.  It is already winter and people are depressed.  Now make them feel terrible about not having a love interest, too.  I mean one that knows they are a love interest and not the unspeakable kind.  But isn't this the month when most babies are conceived?  In the cold darkness of winter?  Products of the sexual activities of the otherwise depressed?  I, my friends, was conceived during the holidays, a happy time which is why I am so warm and full of love.

Oh, well.  Such is life and love and luck.  And talent, too.  Look at that cover.  Therein lies real artistry.  I should be cheerier, though.  Facebook now provides 50 gender options.  Now we're talking.  I'm getting busy right away.  I didn't know what all I've been missing.  What a world.  There is lots of new sex to be had.  And tonight is Men's Figure Skating, too!

O.K.  I'm going over to Q's Facebook page to see which one he opted for.

3 comments:

  1. I really, really can't believe they use such ridiculous and bad photos on such big magazines.
    Like that Hustler cover you placed a while ago, what a horrible ugly photo!
    I wouldn't even dare to place a photo like that on my hobby photographer- blog!
    I can't watch that video either, it's like walking into a gigantic henhouse, my god, the horror!
    Your photo is beautiful, even when the light is much flatter than what we are used to see from you.
    If you like photos like this cover, you should have listened to me when I said to take your models to the beach... I want to bet my life on it that the photos would still have been MUCH cooler though!
    :-p
    See you!
    XXX!

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  2. Yes, I'll be rushing out to the beach with a gaggle of models any moment now. We will try to do what has never been done before :)

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  3. Yes, be the first, do some decent beach photos!
    :-p

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