Dick in the Doorjamb

Originally Posted Friday, January 19, 2013

Eating well, going to bed early and staying there the right number of hours, sometimes rising late, drinking less whiskey, working out daily, reading. . . and not working in the studio.  I am remembering what life used to be like once again, and I like it.  I'm a regular guy who isn't afraid to go noir and who can actually enjoy it, but coming back to the light is always the reward.  I am not a creature of the night. 

Recently I got caught with my dick in the doorjamb, though, and I have been trying to extract it before the door is shut.  Jesus Christ, that is a nerve-wracking procedure.  You know not to stick it in there.  You just want to see if you have the nerve.  And there is a promise that if you do, there is something on the other side that you are going to like.  So fuck it. . . the door is open, and as long as no one closes it, this could be fun.  The danger makes it even more enjoyable than it might be otherwise. 

But then. . . a hand appears. . . and you know what is about to happen.  Try to get it out without getting caught.  Suddenly you are like Scheherazade in "One Thousand and One Nights."  And you are making promises to anyone or anything that listens. 

So. . . the days grow longer and I want to revert to the old ways.  Hell, I don't think I'd even mind a mild relationship as long as there was plenty of space.  But mostly what I want is to live this simple, pure existence once again without so much to do and without so terribly much stress.  It has been self-induced.  I was making something, wanting to leave something behind.  And I have.  I did.  Now I want to slow down, take some time to do nothing on weekends and evenings.  It will be a wonderful luxury.  I plan to enjoy it. 

Until I get bored.