Birds and Bees 101

Originally Posted Wednesday, April 3, 2013

I thought that titling yesterday's post "Lindsey Lohan Is Pregnant" would bring more visitors.  Yesterday's visitor count was the lowest since the first days of the blog.  Perhaps I should have spelled her name right.  My post, though, doesn't even show up on a Google of the title with the misspelled name.  I used to pop up on the first one or two pages of most things you Googled with the old blog. 

Yea, yea, yea. . . everything used to be better. 

It just occurred to me that I never saw robins this year.  Usually there will be masses of them in the late winter.  Nada.  I miss them.  They are always together in groups of hundreds.  They churn the leaves as they turn the soil looking for bugs and worms.  They are noisy in the early morning.  It is fun.  We had trees in the house where I grew up, big maples, I think, that dropped giant leaves that dried on the ground.  The robins would come for about a week and each morning just tear things up. 

Where are the robins of youth? 

Now the birds of winter prepare to leave, going back home for the spring bacchanalian.  They will be drunk with new life.  Birds really know how to live except for the whole cloaca thing.  I can't say little enough about that.  Well. . . maybe it is more romantic than all the humping and thrusting, and I am incurably romantic.  Perhaps the attraction and agreement are enough, though geese do have penetration and they mate for life.  Hmm.  I'm going to give this cloacal thing another think. 

I know I have many of you thinking about your own lack of knowledge now.  Birds and Bees 101.  Most people use the term "birds and bees" without knowing jack. 

It is good to start the day on top.  I always preferred it that way.