Everything is Trouble

Originally Posted Thursday, May 1, 2014

Tonight I fell in love with Ann Richards, the former Governor of Texas.  If you have HBO, watch the documentary they are airing now about her.  I know it is biased, but I know that it is true, too.  Jesus Christ, what a woman.  I didn't know enough about her before, and I don't know why.  Ignorant is all I can say.  I wish I had met her.  She was something I wish I could be.  She was for everybody.  She was inclusive and fearless.  She was a life force.  I will live differently now.  Watch the documentary and see how you feel.

If she had won a second term as Governor, the world would be a seriously different place. 

I will leave it at that. 

But HBO is a criminal.  I've been binge watching "Garme of Thrones" and am at the end of the third season.  After I watched Episode 8, I wanted to watch Episode 9, of course, but HBO did not offer that.  Episode 10 WAS available, though.  Why do you think they did THAT? 

Impulsive and decadent as I am, I rented it on iTunes.  HBO should have to play by some different set of rules than they do. 

I am getting stronger.  Thank you for asking.  I am back at the gym and feeling more like my old self than I have from months.  I got talked into going to my first spinning class.  I almost puked.  But afterwards, I had the first endorphin flow I've had for a long, long time.  It was wonderful.  Until I get my knee surgery, I will at least have that.  I am looking forward to going again. 

When I walked into the gym last night, a young woman came up to me and asked, "Remember me?"  That is never a comforting question.  My stomach tightened. 

"Give me some context." 

It turned out that I had lived with her half-sister when I was in my twenties for about eight years.  I had only met this woman, the half-sister, once.  I was in the Country Club College library when she approached me with the same question.  She was a volleyball player and, of course, a student, there.  I had not seen her since she was about two, but for some reason (perhaps photographs?) she knew who I was.  That day, by coincidence, happened to be her half-sister's birthday I remembered.  It had been more than ten years since that meeting in the library. 

I asked a few questions about her family as I was curious, but not overly so.  When the conversation had reached its natural denouement, she asked me if when her sister was next in town I would like to meet up for a drink. 

"Oh, I don't think so," I said shaking my head.  "I don't really think we need to see what time has made of one another."  I had no curiosity, no desire to see her whom I had not seen since she was young.  The half-sister looked disappointed. 

I'm glad I said that, though.  Maybe something is wrong with me, but I'd rather have whatever memories I have now intact.  She was a wildly beautiful girl to whom men were terribly attracted.  It was a curse, I think. . . for me.  It is difficult to rebuff all advances when you are just coming into adulthood (oh. . . she was eight years younger than I), and the affair ended badly--several times.  Well, it started badly, too, I guess, as I began seeing her while I had another girlfriend.  I learned many things about many things then.  I've avoided much of that since.  And I've learned so many other lessons since then, too, that I avoid just about everything.  Everything is trouble if you get into it.