Fool

Originally Posted Friday, November 28, 2014

This is the last day of antibiotics, and maybe the last day of feeling like a zombie.  I hope it has been the antibiotics that have kept me feeling this way.  It has been a week since I went to the hospital, and I remember little of it.  It has been a hazy, worn out, fearful, lazy existence.  Now I will live with the paranoia always wondering if that feeling in my gut is normal, terrified that I might be moments away from a visit to the E.R. 

Tomorrow is full of probiotics and the beginning of fiber. 

My mother was a champ.  She made chicken and chicken soup and sweet potatoes for our Thanksgiving dinner.  I ate almost normally. 

But who the hell am I writing to?  Blame this on the drugs.  It's time to get back to the business end of things.  But wait. . . I haven't had any experiences to write about.  Not even internal.  I've been existing, not living.  It is time to get cracking, time to make some meaning again.  Pictures and words. 

It will take more energy than I presently have, though.  It is time for waking up.  And what will wake you more than a cold shower?  An ice bath, of course.  Everybody's doing it. 

Or maybe not.  I don't know.  Nadja told me about them and insists on their efficacy.  What the hell?  What can it hurt?  Mae West used to lie in her tub and have her "houseboys" fill it with ice every day.  I read that a long, long time ago and it stuck with me, but for the life of me, Google fails me on this little piece of research.  I know, though, that I read it back when she made "Myra Breckenridge" with Raquel Welch.  That was 1970.  She seemed well preserved. 

I am a wimp, however.  I can't keep my foot in an ice bucket for more than thirty seconds.

I can't figure out how to keep my shortcomings out of the ice, either.  Do you wear neoprene underwear? 

O.K.  That is enough stupidity for the day.  In all honesty, I am very worried about my health now, intestinal and otherwise.  It is not an interesting topic.  It may be as far from interesting as one can get.  What is there to do, then, but play the fool? 

I can do that.