All this technology takes up so much time. Trying to be tech savvy enough to keep all my computers and phones synched, updating my mother's software and troubleshooting for her. . . . Right now I am trying to recover all the contacts I had on my old phone. It means I have to go back into an older computer and update all the apps, etc. I am having fits. Apple used to be easy. It was all easy. Nothing is easy any more and I wonder--is it me? I end up with so many passwords, I can't remember any of them. I have answered so many password questions and reset so many times, I don't even remember what my favorite car was or my favorite job. Whatever.
My nerves are frayed anyway. I drink too much to relieve the stress and wake in the morning with a heaviness that is confounding. I am making mistakes and bad decisions that complicate my once simple life. I find I do not want to perform in the off hours and am prepared to die alone.
Dreadful talk for a pretty Saturday morning. I must find some bliss today someway. A walk through some gardens, maybe, or a trip to the beach. I don't know. My ass seems heavy and anchored to the chair. Maybe I am only made for sitting any more. Sitting and waiting for the beating.
Enough of that. I'll stop it. There is hot coffee and hot blueberry pie. I will take some pleasure there.
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