Not Resigned

I should skip writing a blog entry today.  I am argumentative but unprepared.  You can feel that, sometimes, the anger or rage or simple irritation coursing through your veins.  It is like a fire.  My molars clench in an unconscious,  primitive rhythm.  My eyelids contract without closing.  Perhaps it is a chthonic reaction to the anxiety.  I don't know.  I just have to control it.

I developed three rolls of black and white film last night.  The medium format film was blank.  I had found it in some dark corner and didn't know what it was.  Now I remember it was a roll of film I ran inside out through the Hasselblad.  I ruined one roll of 35mm film by not getting it on the reel correctly so that the film touched in a couple places.  The third, shot through the Hasselblad Xpan, was fine, but scanning those is a bitch.  Half an hour twirling tanks, and that is what I came up with.

I will cut and scan them tonight.  Maybe there will be ONE image I like or can kid myself that I like.

Here are old people having fun.  Isn't that what is supposed to happen?  Beers on the patio, some early dinner, a game of canasta?  They do not look resigned, do they?  They look as if they are truly enjoying themselves and one another.

How do people do it?