Retreat

What a difference a day makes, as the saying goes.  Yesterday's mania is like yesterday's wine.  Today, everyone went back to work.  I. . . went back to whatever it is that I have been doing.  Hopes, dreams, aspirations give way.

Let me give you one example.

The gallery owner who liked the idea of me using the space to shoot sometimes has a partner who also works at the photo store.  I had to go in today to drop off some film and to buy a fresh pack.  I saw the partner.  Oh, he was excited to have me come into partnership at the gallery.  I could use it, you know, Monday through Thursday nights.  He slipped me a piece of paper before I left.  It had monthly price written down.

"That's what I was thinking," he said.

"That's not what I was thinking," I replied.

I might be better off looking for a good studio space.  I may know one or two people who would like to share one.

Just now, I am sitting in the hipster coffee shop--because I do not want to go home--sipping a cappuccino and thinking I'm washed up.  But wait!  At this very moment, I have received a reply to a message I sent a couple hours ago to the master printer who runs workshops out in Santa Fe.  I had written asking if I could maybe get a price reduction if I assisted him in his workshops this spring as I no longer have a job and can't afford to pay to go through the workshops again.  I simply need a refresher.  I felt a fool writing it, but it seemed he got a kick out of me and he still uses some of my prints on his webpage as advertising.  And as Q said, what's the harm in asking?

In reply. . . well, it was all quite flattering, but it seems I will not need to pay him anything at all.  Indeed, he wants me to come out the weekend before the workshop so we can run through things together.  Now I'm both psyched and paranoid that I'll fuck up the workshop in some way.  Who knows.  But what a difference a few minutes can make.

Who is Priapus now?

Even the music is good in here today.  I walked in to Al Green.  "Family Affair" by Sly is playing now.  Oh, boy, it is good.

I am going to go home and start working on my negatives and prints again.  It is busy work that needs to be done, and I have not been productive in any way today.  I need to be productive.  There are opportunities I need to grab.

.*.  .*.  .*.  

The sun is just beginning to rise.  I am going back to bed.  Perhaps my reaction to events (or, more factually, the proposal of events) is wearing me out.  Maybe I am just wearing out. It happens.

Last night brought a full moon.  I know that only because Lisa, a friend of the Cafe, let me know.  I went outside to see, and sure enough, there is was once again.  I came back in and read until I went to bed.  And now, this.

Yes, I think that I shall retreat into sleep again.