Be Mine, Valentine

 

 I couldn't help myself.  Q sent me this a week or so ago and I turned it into a V-Day card.  It is horrible.  It is blasphemous.  I can't stop myself, though.  It makes me laugh.  

I wish I had gotten to caption it, though.  It should be "Oral or Anal."  Saying "Or oral" is difficult.  

I knew girl once who told me she thought all men were gay.  Why's that, I asked.  Because the first thing they want to do, she said, is stick it in your butt.  

Well, now.  

I think I'll start quizzing my male friends on which they prefer.  

My Valentine's Day will be quiet with flowers and a card for mother.  

It's O.K.  I have never been good at these sort of days, anyway.  Birthdays, Easter, Valentine's Day. . . they all got me in the doghouse.  I am not good at making celebrations.  I'm good at cuddling, but that is not what is called for on certain days of the year, I guess.  When I am in a relationship, I feel the coming of these days with dread.  I have no feeling for them.  Flowers, candy, a card. . . these are not enough.  A Bugatti, maybe, or something in a little Tiffany Blue box, and endless bottles of Cristal champagne.  A room at the 4 Seasons and dinner at the Flagler Steakhouse.  

O.K.  Maybe I know what to do. . . I just can't afford to.  

So maybe it is good to celebrate with mom and my own broken heart.  

I'm ten days into my second vaccine now, almost fully covered.  I made a beauty appointment for Thursday.  I want to get everything.  I want a massage and a facial.  I should just book a day into a spa.  But. . . did I ever show you a photo of my beautician?

She likes Lamborghinis and the rest of it.  

I've been thinking about my upcoming travels.  I am going to begin with driving trips around the state.  Yesterday while visiting my mother, I started talking about sleeping in the Xterra.  People do.  The only trouble in my state is the heat, the humidity, and the bugs.  I Googled camper air conditioners while we were talking and found a bunch of little ones that run off 12 volt batteries.  It got me thinking.  And dreaming.  So after dinner last night, I searched for Xterra camping videos on YouTube.  Lots of people do it.  There were plenty of cool DIY modifications for sleeping and storing things.  My blood was pumping. 

And when I woke this morning, it was what I was dreaming about.  Slipping out of the car and sitting in a camp chair with an apple and some yogurt.  I was actually smiling.  

I think that I may try it.  I'd be saving a lot of money.  And I don't have to do it every night.  Motels and hotels and Air B&B will always be there.  

Who knows. . . I may actually do it and not just sit home watching YouTube and dreaming.  Just as soon as I beat this CLS.  

One day at a time.  

O.K.  I need to get flowers and a card and some champagne for ma.  That's my life.  It's what I do.