The Boring Report

There will be trouble this summer here for sure.  It is too hot too early.  Last night cooled to only 72.  Today's high temperature will be in the 90s.  I went shopping yesterday mid-afternoon, and walking across the parking lots was a hot-assed struggle.  Yup. . . bad times are coming.  

I was looking for desktop shelving--risers--things to elevate the hardware that sits on my desk in order to store hard drives beneath them.  My hard drives are a mess (as are most things in my life), and I need to spend a lot of time reorganizing my files.  I have many, many hard drives that I have accumulated over the years.  On the back of my iMac are a few ports, but not enough, and turning the computer to plug and unplug them is the result of Apple's careful consideration of user-friendly design.  So I spent a couple hundred dollars on an auxiliary port hub that will accommodate speedy transfer rates and will provide me easy access.  No more back of the 27" computer bullshit. 

When I went online to look for monitor stands, etc., I couldn't find exactly what I need to lift two scanners, one flatbed, the other for film, off the desktop as they are each nineteen inches long.  

O.K. That's the boring part.  Are you still here?  I'll quit this tedious narration.  I'll skip ahead.  The stands on Amazon were anywhere from $25 to $70 dollars apiece.  I found some wire cabinet risers that would expand to accommodate my scanners for $4.95 each at the Home Goods store. 

Done.  Walking across the parking lot, though, was tiring in the mid-afternoon heat.  

Here's something else you'll be interested in.  I was reading my oven last night.  I've had it since 1996 and I guess I've never really paid attention to all the things it says.  

Like--Self-Cleaning.  

I wondered how that worked.  I pushed the self-cleaning button and a message came up that said, "door."  I opened and closed the oven door, then noticed a knob.  I pulled it and it slid out and to the left.  WTF?  I tried to open the oven door.  It was locked.  

Well I'll be goddamned and go to hell as my uncle used to say.  

The oven started "self-cleaning."

What I thought was four minutes, however, was four hours.  And holy shit did that oven get hot.  It was putting out some serious heat.  I guess that's the way it cleans and why the oven door needed to be locked. 

My life is like that.  I find buttons in my car that I have never explored.  Only a few months ago I discovered that my outside mirrors were adjustable with some buttons on the door.  

I will organize my desk today, then I will begin organizing my drives.  It would be great to know where my images and documents are in the many, many terrabytes of information I have.  

I'll need to come up with a system.  

I'll also need to mail in my tax return today.  

"Mail?  Why don't you just do it online?"

It's a long story and no more interesting than the ones I've just told.  No.  That's not true.  It is more interesting.  But not that.  

Covid is coming once again to a town near you, and the 4th vaccine doesn't work very well for very long, it seems.  So say the scientists, if you can believe those liars.  The CDC says that 43% of the American population have already had Covid.  I just looked it up.  I've had it.  It's about time the rest of you hammerheads get it, too.  There are long term effects that everyone needs to deal with.  It's only fair.  It's only right.  'Cause I know you effers won't be staying home and away from the throng.  You've all headed back to the ballparks and sports bars in record-breaking droves.  The communal spirit is simply too strong.  

Me?  Oh, you know. . . I've gotten pretty used to staying home alone.  I'll be right here reporting from my chair, tending my garden and feeding puss-puss and waiting for destructive weather.