To My Knees

 Yup.  A night out buggered me for a day.  Nothing got done until last evening when I made some banana "poop" bread.  I knew as I was making it that something wasn't right.  When it came out of the oven, I took a first bite.  Not nearly enough maple syrup.  But was that bad?  I rather liked this less sweet version. I will have some in a moment when I finish writing this and I will know.  I think so, though.  

A friend sent me a picture of her daughter getting ready for her 8th grade dance.  She is in a little black dress.  Why? I asked.  Why am I not photographing your daughters?  I've known them since they were born.  We both worked at the factory and when the kids were little, I used to entertain them when they came with mom to work.  They love me.  That is what they say.  But now, teenagers. . . .  Who knows?

I really just want to put the three of them in bathing suits poolside at a Motel 6 being weird.  Barbecuing.  Tossing horseshoes.  Being awkward.  

It will never happen, I'm sure.  The world just keeps passing me by.  

Yesterday, I read about this.  

It is what I want.  Have wanted.  I don't want a trailer.  I just want this.  You can explore it here (link).  

You can get them in Europe but no in the U.S.  Why?  It must have to do with emission rules.  I don't know, but I NEED this NOW.  Such is my life, it seems.  

The world keeps passing me by. 

Q is at some drugfest playing disc jockey this weekend.  He is one of I don't know how many, but it gives him a chubby, I know.  And he has just bought a bunch of airline tickets to fly around Europe this summer.  The whole family.  

C.C. leaves for Paris tomorrow.  My travel/art buddy is traveling around France and going to London as I write.  

Everybody's going somewhere.  

I still have much painting to do.  Etc. 

I sit at home and watch things like this.  It brings me to my knees. . . with sad desire and deep longing.