I haven't any time to write today, really. The cleaning crew comes and the house is a lousy mess of cameras and gear, chemicals, developing tanks, etc., that must be put away. I forgot about this when I called the ortho doc's office yesterday and made an appointment for nine o'clock. Silly things like this always weigh heavily on me the night before which is probably why I didn't sleep well. Fearful dreams full of morbidity haunted me. At one point, I woke, heart racing, adrenaline pumping. I could not stop it for a very long time as I lay there alone in the dark. One knows always that things will come to this, but I don't know if one can ever prepare. Dreadful thoughts passed over, around, and through me. What would I do if I have a knee replacement? Uber to and from surgery? Hire someone to help me around the house? WTF? Every horrible, maleficent ailment I have ever feared loomed on the not too distant horizon.
But public self-pity is ugly and useless. I'll limp bravely into the day.
No comments:
Post a Comment