And the Winner Is. . . .

"Are you going to watch the Oscars?  The Red Carpet stuff is coming on right now."

"I don't have cable.  I don't have network television,"

"Oh."

You know what I found out last night, though?  Amazon Fire Stick gives me access to network stuff.  I can watch local news, for instance.  Didn't know that.  My internet provider, however, doesn't let me have network shows.  I think I can get a set of digital rabbit ears and get the networks which might be OK for watching some things like the Super Bowl.  I wasn't interested in any way in watching the Oscars, though.  That just seems like slow motion torture to me.  

That is to say nobody came over to not watch the Oscars with me last night.  

What I watched instead was a lot of Van Life videos.  I knew that Covid had ruined much of our previous life experiences, but the impact on camping in your car or van has been devastating.  Just before Covid hit, I was looking at rigs for living on the road.  Then, with social distancing affecting life, the price of all things "camping" skyrocketed, and I pretty much decided to stay home.  

While I was away. . . oh, boy!  It seems that too many people got into van life and, like everything that gets popular, it was ruined.  Where once you could park a van or camper in Walmart and Cracker Barrel parking lots everywhere, many local ordinances have put a stop to that.  The chains themselves have, too.  Too much partying, too many drugs, too much trash.  Apparently these were homeless people with wheels.  Stealth camping became more difficult, too.  Local police are on the lookout for overnight parking.  Consequently, campgrounds have raised their fees.  At forty dollars a night, it is cheaper to rent an apartment.  

So I heard from my favorite van life girl (link).  Sure. . . hate on me because she is pretty, but that isn't what brought me to her YouTube station.  It was because for years she lived in her Xterra.  When the cost of campers skyrocketed, I was watching videos on camping in my car.  She had that shit nailed, so one day I put down the seats and threw a sleeping bag and a pad in the back to see.  Uh-uh.  I was already too broken up and stiff for that shit.  It was painful.  She, obviously a flexible yoga girl, made it look inviting, but last night when I stumbled across her once again, I found that she had moved up to living in a stand-up van.  Now, though, after years on the road, even she is ready to give up her life vagabond life.

Some people are cool.  Most just suck.  And that is one reason I can't stand the Republican Party.  They want more babies.  WTF?  

When I got up this morning, I got baited and clicked on WaPo's Oscar article.  "See All the Winners."  And I did.  In five minutes or so.  And that was too much.  I did remember, though, that the Oscars used to be on Monday nights.  I only thought of that because Woody Allen never went.  He had a standing Monday night music gig at he Carlyle Hotel.   But that was a long time ago.  

I have been wondering how I would ever use today's photos.  Voila.  He's Just Ken.  

I went out to feed the cats at sunrise.  The sky was a ablaze with red.  And what does that mean, kids?  

"Sailor take warning."

The chilly air shocked me, though.  I had to turn on the heat.  Haven't done that for weeks.  

The thing about van life is that it looks simple on the surface, but there is a lot of work that constantly has to be done.  You have to be well-organized and handy.  I am neither.  I am messy.  And my friends won't let me use power tools.  To wit.  I keep telling you about all the work that needs to be done around my house.  I need to trim the old branches off my crepe myrtle before the new growth begins.  My cousin had bought a small electric chain saw, and when I said I was going to trim the tree, she told me to use that.  O.K.  I had cut only two small branches when I did something that stopped it dead.  Uh-oh.  I got the screw driver and took what I could apart.  It took me an hour to put the chain blade back on and stretch it over the gears.  And when I had it all back together finally--nothing.  Jesus.  I ordered her another one on Amazon.  It will be here on Wednesday.  It would have been cheaper to just hire someone.  

I was about as handy when I had my sailboat.  A camper is just a land boat.  I'm simply not a tool guy.  

"I'm Just C.S."  

Ho!

But I will get busy today, I swear.  I am going to change my life just like I tell you every couple of weeks.  I read this morning that daily pot use ups your chances of having a heart attack by 25% and that Tai Chi will lower your blood pressure much more than other exercises.  Eating more fruits and vegetables will help you live to be 100, so they say.  

I ate five eggs and two pounds of steak this weekend.  Last night, I didn't want to cook, so I got a fast food chicken sandwich from Guy Fierro's place, The Chicken Guy.  I barely left the house except to go to my mother's and the liquor store.  

But today. . . you know. . . watch me eating a veggie pita sandwich after group Tai Chi in the park.  You'll see.  I'll get with it.  I'll start moving again.  I will.  

Right after this.  Oy.