All I've Got

Well, shit. . . my blog went to Google Jail once again, so now EVERYONE must pass a test of moral courage to view the site.  Selavy.  That's what I get for listening to C.C.  He told me that was the perfect photo to post about the loss of romanticism and giving up on the hope of love.  I thought so, too, but it was his encouragement that pushed me over the edge.  Indeed, this entire blog was his idea.  

"Jump. . . jump. . . the water is deep!" he said.  Fifty years later, here we are, still getting into trouble.  

In truth, though, not everyone can look comfortably at the human figure.  Indeed, I was considering doing something really odd.  I thought about SELLING my photos instead of giving them away as I so often do.  Well, not "so" often.  But I do.  I'm not a very commercially oriented person, but I need a new printer, and to buy one of the appropriate size with inks will cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $7,000.  

And no sense.

I looked at a site that sells art online.  They had some things I really liked.  It led me to this woman's photography.  I even wrote her a fan's note (link).  I admit, I am envious of those photos.  

So I went to the sign up page for the gallery site. . . and read this. 

Though this isn’t an exhaustive list, Saatchi Art generally considers the following to be indicative of adult content.

• Photographic/photo-realistic nudity, either full or partial

• Depiction of sexual acts

• The use of expletives (i.e. strong language)

The types of images/content that will be removed immediately are: 

1 Those images we deem racially offensive, promotes discrimination, bigotry, racism, hatred, harassment or harm against any individual or group.

2 Images that depict or otherwise promote the sexual exploitation of minors (persons under the age of 18) or harms minors in any way. We strongly advise that photographers and artists painting in a representational style have their models (especially those posing in the nude) sign release forms indicating that they’re over 18, should the legality of the images come into question. Saatchi Art reserves the right to remove any images that are in violation of laws protecting minors or which may promote illegal actions against minors.

3 Images which violates, or encourages any conduct that would violate, any applicable law or regulation.

4 Images which are deemed fraudulent, false, misleading or deceptive.

5 Images (and or text) which is defamatory, obscene, pornographic, vulgar or offensive.

6 Any images determined to be violent or threatening or promotes violence or actions that are threatening to any other person.

7 Images (and or text) which promotes illegal or harmful activities, products or substances.

It makes me fearful and rather killed the dream.  Oh. . . I have plenty of images I could post there, of course, but the thing is. . . do I want to support such policies?  There is still the defiant rebel within me.  

But. . . these are the "community standards," I guess, the stuff of "the people," so. . . we'll see.  I need money if I want to be an "artist" again.  I need a studio.  

After I posted yesterday's entry, I felt bad about something.  It seemed I was saying that women age noticeably and badly in a decade.  Well, I did say something like that, but I didn't mean it to be exclusive.  We all do, me more than most.  I was once young and clever and now I am a mentally crippled, overweight Quasimodo.  But I am hardly in the public eye.  What I was meaning and not making clear, I think, is that those people make a living by being in the public eye.  They are dream makers.  They shouldn't be mortal nor should they be subject to the laws of aging.  It crushes me.  

It should not happen to any of the women of the circa 1980s era.  

Nor to me.  

But it does and has.  And I am often late to the party.  By the time I fall in love with their visages, they are already a decade down the line.  

That age is best which is the first,

When youth and blood are warmer.

Look what your god has done to me!

In truth, that is two decades and I was already old in the first photo, and we know that we race towards becoming a mushroom the farther we travel.  So. . . by way of apology.  

While I was writing, though, this just came in from my conservative friend.

One of the ancient rabbis quoted in the compendium of wisdom known as “Chapters of the Fathers” offered a rule of thumb for thinking about the ages of life. One’s 20s, he wrote, were for the pursuit of livelihood, then: “at thirty the peak of strength; at forty wisdom; at fifty able to give counsel; at sixty old age; at seventy fullness of years.” Even if by the age of 90 one can expect “a bent body,” this outline suggests that the first chapters of one’s personal story are by no means the most significant.

I can't post the whole article here as it is behind a firewall, but this is the final paragraph.  

Perhaps it is this balance between consistency and a willingness to adapt that is the key to a successful second act: Taking a longer perspective can be a powerful antidote to viewing a career as some kind of binary success or failure. Contemplating a passage by Samuel Johnson on the importance of avoiding indolence and the need to make the most of one’s time, Mr. Oliver writes: “Our lives, if they are well lived, are long works.” Don’t stop writing your story too early.

My friend's note said: 

You should take your images to NY and find a gallery that will feature them.  

 He does not read the blog and I rarely send him photos in order not to disturb him, but I find the synchronicity of his missive somehow meaningful.  Kismet. 

I don't know if I have succeeded in my apology, but that is my attempt.  Self-incrimination is all I've got.  

Now I must prepare for the cleaning crew.  They will be here early and I have much to do to get ready for them.  We haven't had a song for awhile.  Let's see what I have.  

I guess I'm still more of a romantic than I thought!